4am Forever
by peaceofmindalchemist
Summary: This is my first ever SongFic. It just reflects on how Roy felt shortly after Maes died. Very sad, song used was "4am Forever" By Lostprophets.


A/N: I know, I know, I need to update "Ask The Alchemists" But I'm working on a super-long chapter on that one, so I'm taking a short break. Next chapter of it should be up tommorrow, or if not then, then Saturday. If you haven't read it you should. :D Anyways, I wanted to write a songfic, I've never written one before so I decided "Eh, what the hell." And here it is. I know, another angsty depressing fic about Roy's thoughts on Maes's death but he was cool and it upsets me!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or this song. Nor do I own the band.

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Song used: 4am Forever

Artist: Lostprophets

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_Yesterday I lost my closest friend. Yesterday I wanted time to end. I wonder if my heart will ever mend? I just let you slip away...4am Forever_

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Roy stood at the phonebooth. It had been exactly 23 hours, 57 minutes, and 38 seconds since he'd gotten that call.

The call that would forever change his life.

_39 seconds...40...41...42...Why am I still counting?_

He sighed.

It had been his fault. If he'd gotten to the phone just a few minutes faster, maybe he could have done something. Maybe he could have saved him.

But, it didn't matter now. He'd been too late and Maes was gone.

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_Maybe I'll never see you smile again. Maybe you thought that it was all pretend; All these words that I could never say...I just let them slip away...4am Forever_

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His worst fear was that his best friend hated him now.

Hated him for being too late.

Hated him for letting him die.

_I wish I could talk to him, just one more time. Apologize. Because it's my fault._

He thought about Gracia and Elicia at home, mourning the death of their family member.

He looked at the phonebooth in front of him, covered in yellow tape.

This is where it had happened.

If only he'd come here 23 hours, 58 minutes, and 34 seconds earlier, he would know exactly what 'it' was.

Maybe he could have stopped it.

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_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you? Why don't you listen when I try to make it through? Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, you never know. Hold a little tighter...4am Forever_

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He wished he'd told his friend. If he'd told him, even just once, this could have been prevented.

But he hadn't.

And now, it was too late.

But he had to tell him anyways, had to get the point across.

He looked into the phonebooth where his friend had made the last attempt to help push him to the top.

Roy fell to his knees and cried.

For the first time in such a long time, he cried.

"You didn't have to do this. You didn't have to help me."

The tears fell freely now.

"You didn't have to die."

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_Maybe one day when I can move along. Maybe one day when you can hear this song. You won't let it slip away...4am Forever._

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Roy stood up, and wiped the tears off his cheek with his sleeve.

Maybe Maes had heard him.

Maybe he hadn't.

Either way, it made no difference now, did it?

Maes was gone, nothing could change that.

Not even alchemy.

Roy had always relied on alchemy for everything.

But now, when he needed more help than he ever had

it was useless.

Just as he was useless when it rained.

Alchemy was useless to help him now.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never get Maes back.

He was gone.

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_And I wish the sun would never come, it's 4am and you are gone. I hope you know, you're letting go. It's 4am and I'm alone..._

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Roy looked at his pocket watch.

4am on the spot.

It had now been 24 hours, 0 minutes, and 0 seconds since he had lost his best friend.

24 hours since he'd been alone.

Somewhere in the distance, thunder rolled.

_Looks like the sun isn't coming out anytime soon..._

Somehow, this pleased him.

Maybe it was a dream.

He hoped it was.

But the rain ruined his hopes.

He felt it, cold on his skin.

It didn't feel that way in a dream.

Maes was gone.

Forever.

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_Why don't you hear me when I'm callin' out to you? Why don't you listen when I try to make it through? Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, you never know. Hold a little tighter...4am forever..._

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A/N: So there it is. My first ever SongFic. I love this song, it fits this topic so so well. Please review, reviews make my day. Also, if you like this, read some of my other FanFics, it would make me smile! :D


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